la porte est là!

I got excited.

And a little bit nervous. 

I keep wondering what this is going to be like...

And if I'm going to be up to it.

Looking forward to the moment of truth!

Is this going to work for me this time? 

Am I keeping my expectations too damn high?

What about my standards?

Will I stay true to myself?

Need to drop my defence mechanism - but keep it a bit up so I won't get hurt again.

Is this really happening?

Have I created a non-existent imagine in my head?

Please don't lose focus! 

Stay with me, brain! I need you to human today...

I need you to think! I need you to brain!

- inhale - exhale - inhale - exhale -

(Am I doing this right?)

Go take a shower! 

Does my hair smell nice? 

Wardrobe.... wardrobe... 

What am I going to wear? 

What's the weather like? 

Will I have to walk? 

I'm going for comfort and class

No...! 

I'm going for sexy and smart

No...!

I'm going for pyjamas and asylum robe!

Ok, I'm losing focus again. 

...is this really what you're wearing? 

(Damn!)

Guard's up! I repeat GUARD'S UP!!

Ok you know what, I'm going to cancel. 

I've only been waiting for this moment for 10 days ... Or perhaps a lifetime... 

No.No. I'll go.

And if this doesn't work, it's fine! I'm fine!

(I'm not!) 

I have the perfect plan

Immaculate plan!

Demur, if you must... 

Just hear me out, hear me out!

If this is not it, well

la porte est là!