Change The Punctuation!
I have not written enough lately, therefore I have been less calm and less reasonable
This is a quote I read in one of the weekly newsletters I have subscribed to, and this is exactly how this last week has been for me!
Some days I have so much to say, but there are no words for the unsettling feeling of - let me try and phrase it adequately:
'aghhmmmppppffffffuuuuuQQQQ!!!!'
Not sure how to verd this in English though...
And it's not like I can express it in any other language, really.
I'm creating a new post, writing a few lines, not making sense, drafting the post...
...and repeat!
Somedays I feel this is because I have over-socialized, so my communication battery is drained, and my brain is just tired of thinking.
Once I asked my therapist if I have ADHD, because there are days I go home, turn the TV on, open the laptop, grab my phone, eat, and play with my dog - AT THE SAME TIME. Her reaction was somewhat comical, like at that point she realized that perhaps she needs a career change 'god why am I listening to this crap again?'
-of course, I'm kidding!
But what do we do when our thoughts are crumbled up, our brain is malfunctioning and our tongue does not operate anymore?
How does one untangle one's mind?
My utterly nihilistic mind tells me that any sort of effort to get myself out of this fog is useless and I better quit trying. Anxiety tells me this is because I don't have anything valuable to say, so I better hush and go cry in the shower or something. Depression tells me the world would be a better place if I simply shut the fuck up and go to bed for a couple of days, as nothing matters and I'm good for nothing.
But you know what my therapist tells me? Change the punctuation!
Every time I go tell her what a mess I've been and how I perceive things, she puts me in a mindset to change the punctuation, to narrate my story in another tone!
This fog is not there to fight it, it's there to tell me something. You are tired, take a break! Your brain needs some time off, to blow some steam.
This person, that did that thing you've asked them not to do, they didn't do it because they want to hurt you, or they want you hurt. Maybe they're just stupid... And so be it!
You know, these pesky judges in your brain? They do not exist!
Don't listen to them, darling, they are not there.
Instead, listen to your inspiration, your gut feeling. Listen to your imagination telling you who you can be, and how. Listen to the sound of your dreams, dream big, dream loud!
Be the narrator of your story!
Be the exclamation mark!
Be art!
